Lifestyle, Fashion and travel

Monday, 29 May 2017

How to Study?

So I'm sure I'm not the only one who still finds it bewildering that I can somehow remember the entire 10 seasons script to F.R.I.E.N.D.S, yet can I remember anything to do with Lysosomal Storage Disorders? - Absolutely not!


Monday, 22 May 2017

3 Skincare Gems

Now I'm definitely not a beauty blogger! I know diddly squat about skin care and look a bit like I've been punched in the face any time I attempt to use eye shadow! But I have definitely been on the hunt over the last few years, trying many a different product, drinking loads of water etc etc to try and get rid of ma damn spots! Now I don't have acne as severe as many others - it's not a condition, I literally just think due to messing my poor hormones around over the last however many years, they're coming back kicking and screaming (oh and there's chocolate and alcohol which probably doesn't help) ... HOWEVER (ramble over) over the last few months I've been using these products below and I've noticed a mahooosive change! So much so that I haven't worn make-up - partly because I don't need to, partly because I care less - for over a month! And that may sound like nothing, I know an awful lot of lucky buggers who never wear makeup and get a spot perhaps every couple of months, but for me (and I'm sure I'm not alone) I usually had at least one - more likely a few - lovely white mountains somewhere quite clearly visible! And I was very conscious of them, so I'd wear a lot of foundation and powder to cover said lurkers up.


Monday, 15 May 2017

Workaway: My first experience

Last summer me and my best friend took a 10 day trip to the south of France to undertake a holiday through the company Workaway. I basically found this business on, I think, a list of ways to travel on a budget - I wasn't asked/paid to go or to review it, I just think it's a great idea and don't know anyone else who knows about it, so thought I'd explain a bit...

How it works is basically you pay for membership for 2 years (either alone $29/~£23 or as a pair $38/~£30 for both of you) and as a 'workawayer' you can read hosts advertisements from all over the world. Hosts advertise work they need doing - could be anything from a bit of gardening, maybe some cooking or teaching a language to helping renovate and set up an organic farm or hostel - and in exchange for this work (usually around 3-5hrs per day) the hosts offer free accommodation (and sometimes food and transport) to the workawayer/s that offer to help.


Thursday, 11 May 2017

4 Things I Try To Live My Life By

1. Do one good thing for someone else everyday

If we all did this, the world would be a much happier place! And I mean, is there anything better than that feeling of having helped make someone happy or made their day better? This kind of leads onto my next point but I think that being generous and willing to help others, makes us all much better people which makes us (as well as the person we helped) feel better! I also believe that if you do good things for others, they will do good things to you.


Monday, 8 May 2017

An Experience of Anorexia Nervosa

Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I was brainstorming ideas for posts that I could share to impart some wisdom. But I then came across a draft of a post I wrote a while ago and thought a better way to promote awareness and kick off Mental Health Awareness Week (8th-14th), rather than giving advice on such a broad subject I don't really know a lot about, was to share my story. Plain. Simple. Exposed. So here goes.

I remember the day I was diagnosed. I remember walking into the hospital with my mum and dad and hearing them tell me I was suffering from Anorexia Nervosa. It was in April 2010. It didn't shock my mum or dad. They knew. It shocked me. I had no idea what I was doing to myself. What these habits and these thoughts were making me do to myself and my body. I cried. I felt hopeless. Everything I knew and was confident about for a long time before that, was my exercise routine and eating (what I thought was) 'healthily'. Everything I was clinging onto for happiness was about to come crashing down around me. 

I was 15. I was a smart, logical and mature girl. I listened to the therapist and nutritionist and my parents and my family. All telling me what I was doing and how to recover. They told me minimum recovery time was usually around 2 years. I remember thinking I could beat those odds. That I wasn't like other 'anorexics' I wasn't really anorexic. I had everything under control. I'd just gone a bit too far, that's all. All I had to do was eat more food, and get to a healthy weight. Simple.

'It's a hard process. Moving out of a comfort zone you've pushed yourself to the very limit to achieve. Having to do things that go against everything your mind and your body is telling you to do. Because you've driven it into this state of starvation. It was torture. I'd try and tell myself it's for the best. Trust the adults. Trust your parents. Trust the professionals. 

But it's easier to say isn't it. It's easy to say eat this, you need it. All they think about is my weight and my physical health. But what about my mental health. What about my body. They don't care if I get fat and ugly. They don't care if I'm unhappy, just as long as I'm a healthy BMI. But I care though. I'm the one that has to live with it. I'm the one that has to look at my body everyday. I'm the one that would have to live alone forever, always being the other girl. The one you forgot the name of. The plain, ordinary, nothing special girl. I'm the one in photos that you're not jealous of. The one with the bucked teeth and a massive nose and a big, square, manly body. The one you don't quite take notice of. I couldn't be that person again. I just couldn't.'

'You see, for me, my eating disorder wasn't a cry for help. Not for anyone else's help anyway. It was an attempt to gain a sense of worth for myself. To prove to myself that I was someone. I was always overwhelmed at the thought of being such an insignificant person in this world who hasn't really got anything to offer. I tried so hard in everything I did and yet I still felt insignificant. I wasn't good at anything. Well that's a lie, I was. I was in the top sets at school, I always did well. I had the most wonderful friends and family. Sometimes I think I shouldn't be allowed to have an eating disorder. To have a mental illness, let alone talk about it or seem like I'm complaining. My life was amazing. Is amazing. There are people in this world who would do anything for what I had. For a loving family, parents happily married, all healthy and happy. To have the most amazing friends. To have financial security, food and clean water, a roof over our heads. Education. Healthcare. I could go on and on. Who am I to be suffering, when there are people who have had actual traumatic experiences resulting in their thoughts and worries. I've just brought this on myself. Stupid, unthankful girl. 

I think I felt insecure. I still do. We all do, I guess. I had (still do, love them all to bits) very high-flyer friends. So I was the quiet one. The 'other' one. I deemed myself the follower. The one that wasn't quite good enough to be in that group. I wasn't as funny. I wasn't as smart. I wasn't as confident. I wasn't as pretty. Maybe being thin and fit and attractive could be my thing. People seem to like attractive people. Maybe if I work hard enough, I could be like that. Maybe then I won't feel as worthless, I'll be more confident and I'll have something to offer.'

These are just some words that I'd written a while back on different occasions and edited slightly to put together. I want to stress that, while I still occasionally get old thoughts and urges and am not yet fully recovered, I'm definitely not in that place anymore and I'm in a much better mindset and physical state to keep getting healthier. And I'm much happier. My stage in recovery is down to a lot of hard work, tears, love and support from my friends and family (who I basically owe my life to, so thanks guys) - but it's happened. It's possible. Just now writing this, I can vividly remember several times over the last 7 years when I didn't think it would ever be possible (one only a few months ago in fact, but that's another story). And they'll still be times when I feel unworthy and insecure, because changing your thought process doesn't change overnight, but I'm getting better and with each day of thankfulness and happiness, it gets that much easier and the ana inside me gets that much smaller. Controlled by me now, not the other way around.

I know my experience is very different to a lot of others but here I am sharing mine, if you don't agree or relate or this post conjures up bad thoughts, please just don't read it and close the tab straight away. I know most/if not all the people who read my posts are lovely, kind and open-minded people and I love you all so much - but if you're reading this thinking of a not-so-nice comment to post, please don't - you don't realise how much damage it can do! I feel very self-conscious publishing this type of stuff, but hearing it help just one or two people encourages me to do it.

There are many reasons I'm sure for the development of this and other mental illnesses, and it's most definitely not anyone's fault. I do still feel judgement towards myself sometimes when I actually type out these kind of thoughts, but it's just one of those things that unfortunately affects 1 in 4 of us. And it sucks. And it's hard. But it's temporary. It's an illness. It's not us. 


Thursday, 4 May 2017

Why I'm not Scared of Finishing University

Ok pinch me... the other day I had to register for my Graduation! *Draw drops, Eyes widen* Ho-ly S*** 

Being third year, fastly approaching the leap into real adulthood *Gulps*, I've definitely been subject to many a 'So have you got any plans?' comment or a 'Have you started applying for jobs/grad schemes?' and in answer to all those questions;


A big fat Nope!

I've not applied for a single graduate scheme, or job. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have basically no prospects for after university. And I'll end up with no money in my bank account.

Well, that's not entirely true... I am planning on travelling in Australia in August for who knows how long (as long as my saved money/Working-Holiday Visa will last). But I've not got a whole load of money and although I'll give it my best shot, who knows if travelling for a living is the right path for me and I might come back and have spent all my savings!

But the absolutely great thing is... I'm not scared. I'm ready! I'm excited for this new chapter and this freedom to do whatever I want!

Everyone around me and everything society or university promotes is this feeling of dread and failure to leave university without a job or at least things put in place or an idea of where to go. And for a time I thought the same - hell one of the reasons I came to uni was to put off work for 3 years (definitely not a reason to be paying £9,000/yr let me just tell you, but moving swiftly on!) - but I've come to realise that there's no point in being scared or worried.

Everything has a habit of working out - opportunities come along when and how they're meant to, doors close, doors open etc etc. As long as I'm happy and working hard in whatever I'm doing at the time, I'm content with the thought that in the time until this point of ''fear'', something - maybe a job, maybe a person, maybe a way of life - will come along and fit perfectly for me at that time.

 And I think this past term, and these past few years, has definitely pushed me and shown me that I can handle whatever life throws at me. That'll change - I know me too well - when the time comes that something feels even bigger or scarier or just different to anything I've faced before, but I'll still get through it.

I admit, my parents are amazing and will support anything I want to pursue, and fortunately they have to money to put up with me for another few (*cough* thirty *cough*) years when I go travelling and hopefully make a load of mistakes/job attempts until I find the one that's right.

But all soon to be degree-finishers - don't worry! This is our time to do WHATEVER we want to do with our lives. And if the job you get isn't what you thought it would be - just get a different one?

Anyone else in their final year? Anyone struggling? Or like me have you stopped caring!?

Image links from Pinterest here;
2. The Daily Quotes


Monday, 1 May 2017

Nassau, Bahamas

So what better way to escape all thought of dissertation and revision, than a spontaneous mini break to The Bahamas?

As I've mentioned before, I'm extremely fortunate to have an Air Hostess mother, who has taken my family and I to many destinations over the years! And since I'm unable to accompany her after I turn 24, I've made it my mission to go with her to as many places as I can pack in before then! So that was my reasoning for jetting off to the Bahamas for 3 days 3 weeks before my dissertation hand in!

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